With my goal of a natural birth plan, my husband and I took
the Bradley class. I understood the importance of being flexible when birth
does not go as planned, but I just wanted to prepare myself as well as I could.
My husband was convinced he wanted me to get an epidural but changed his mind
and was on board with the natural birth as soon as we took our first Bradley
class. We loved learning about the natural biology behind birth and were
surprised by how much standard practices differed from evidence based birthing
practices.
I shared my plan with my initial provider and this provider
made me feel guilty for wanting any kind of plan at all. This initial provider instructed me that I
was not a patient to have a plan, I was a patient so that I could have a
healthy baby, as if my plan was compromising that. We immediately switched to
the top ranked natural birth provider in our area and hired a doula. I felt
fully comfortable with our birth team from then on.
On July 4, I was having some discomfort in my lower belly
throughout the day. At midnight on July 5, my water broke. I was sound asleep
but it felt like my little one karate kicked the water out and it instantly
woke me up. I texted my doula and tried to fall back asleep because I knew it
could be a while before contractions started. Sleep did not happen and
contractions progressed. We called our doctor and I reached a contraction
pattern consistent with what is a good indicator to go to the hospital (3:1:1).
We made the trip and waited in triage. The triage nurse found I was only 2 cm
and my contractions slowed drastically. Inside I was defeated and felt like the
baby was never coming. However, our Bradley class prepared me for this situation
so I just accepted it. The hospital did not want to send us home because my
water broke and frankly I was glad because the car ride was uncomfortable.
Upon settling in our room, my contractions consistently
progressed. My husband did phenomenal with doing whatever he could to keep me comfortable, which I know was a challenge because I did not want to be touched.
Our doula was fantastic in gently suggesting positions to help move things
along appropriately. Alternating between active and resting positions was key
to making my 11 hour labor seem to go by relatively quickly. This was the main
reason I knew I did not want an epidural, because I cannot stay in one position
– especially when I’m uncomfortable.
The contractions kept getting worse and worse. The type of
pain is indescribable and like nothing I’ve ever experienced before. I kept
worrying that if it got much worse, I wasn’t going to be able to handle it. I
thought to myself that an epidural would be nice but the idea of staying still
sounded awful. It never got much worse at once. It got slowly worse just little
by little, which made it doable. I knew I wanted to labor in the tub, but our
doula said that this could slow active labor. We waited until I was extremely
uncomfortable and begging for the tub.
Once I got in the water, the contractions felt different and
much more manageable, but they also spaced out significantly. I was happy for
the break, but worried things would plateau if I stayed much longer. Our doula
convinced me to get out. Immediately, contractions picked up and I was at the
point of crying with each one. I was fighting the nurse who had to hook up the
fetal monitors. This nurse had been in and out the entire time for monitoring and
by this point suggested she check my progress. I had withheld all exams since I
was checked at 2 cm in triage because I couldn’t bear any more disappointment.
To our surprise, I was a full 10 cm at this check and ready to start pushing,
even though my body didn’t realize it yet.
Pushing was the worst part. I literally did not think I was
going to be able to get our daughter out because the pain was so intense. I
asked my birth team if I could just do nothing and let her fall out. They were
all so supportive in convincing me that I could do it. Another reason why I did
not want an epidural was so that I could control my own body during pushing. I
did exactly that. Once I was able to push into contractions, I could tell
exactly when and how long to push. I could also tell exactly where my baby was,
which was mentally comforting (although physically painful). When she arrived,
I was overwhelmed with disbelief. I did it. I did it with the support of an
awesome team – my husband, our doula, our doctor, and the nurses. If I had to
do it all over again, I would do it exactly the same. Most importantly, our
baby girl was completely healthy. I achieved my goal and experienced the
happiest moment of my entire life.
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